Dear Drowning Mom:
Yes you. The one who has lost the vision that there is a hope. The one who is standing, kneeling rather, tear filled eyes, as you gaze across the living room that is trashed with toys, as you just spent hours cleaning it the day before.
Yes you, the one who can’t stand one more person touching them, not one. To the one who feels as though the walls are caving in on her because the flu has quarantined her and taken down every member in her home.
To you, working mom, who has to come home to cook, clean, and care for the family, while also carrying out 40 hours of office work a week.
To you, who is watching her face age before her very eyes. To you, drowning mom, who wants to give up, hello.I recognize you, because I was you. Just a few short years ago.
For those of you who have already tuned me out due to the fact you think this is a “mommy club” post. I assure you it isn’t. I despise the mommy club. I felt so left out for years because I wasn’t “apart” of it, and now that I do have kids….well… I will tell you, it is no “club.”
Motherhood is hard, gruesome, exhausting work; and should never be taken lightly.
You see, I am in an odd boat because I was one of the ones who begged, and begged for kids….and I got kids. So, it’s hard to admit there was a “drowning mom” inside of me, because after all, “You prayed for this.” As many of my friends have repeated to me over the years.
The first five years of a child’s life are no joke people. There are SO many ups and downs, hills and valleys, high highs and low lows. Some days you start on one then end on another. That’s just within the first hour!
Age 3-5 specifically is not for the faint of heart. (Note from Amanda: no age really is!) To parent well, it takes everything within you to make it through.
{You rarely have the camera out on the days that it’s rough, and likely, I’d be the one behind the camera! But these are the good moments. The ones to remember. What you won’t see where the moments leading up to these pictures with the tears and squabbles, or the ones after these moments. But that is all of life. Up’s and downs. Good and tough. But all add up and it’s all worth it.}
There are days and months you really don’t believe you will.
Looking back on some of my mountain top moments and my deep valley periods, I give this one vital piece of advice: Get a buddy.
Ladies, this mom/wife/friend/woman thing is hard work. Hard is an understatement; Find a buddy!!Find a friend that you can partner with and do each other a favor. Give each other breaks!
God has so blessed me with partners in my life and I tell you, it is the only way I made it through some of my deep dark valley’s.
{5 years and 5 months separate these pictures and in the top one I didn’t think I could love you two more than I did then…turns out I can. ❤ Couldn’t do life without you guys. Love you very much!}
Take on her kids plus yours one afternoon, so she can go grocery shop–ALONE. Have her take on your kids plus hers so you can go drink coffee at Barnes and Noble while reading a magazine.
Take her kids so she can go sit in her car for an hour or two. Have her take your kids so you can get a haircut mid-day!
I tell you, on this side, you will find if you partner up, these times will act as a life preserver for you. A lifeline.
You will notice you aren’t drowning anymore; you may be holding on to the plank while still submerged…but you won’t be drowning.
You will start to notice as you get in the routine of this, that you will become a better Mom, and a happier wife.
Throw off the pride of “you don’t want to put someone out” Ladies that is a lie! Besides if you have a buddy and you both are leaning on each other, taking turns having alone time…after a while you will see it’s not putting her out, it’s actually making you better! And it’s making her better! And together, you will no longer be the drowning mom.
Much love xo
Janna
Janna Wilkinson is a mother of two, a missionary at heart, my precious sister-in-law, and a beautiful child of the King. She works part time, is a pastor’s wife, has been through the adoption process, leads multiple bible studies and pours into those around her joy, peace and freedom. She is a hoot too! She shares her life as she can at Wholly Surrendered {Dear Drowning Mom was first posted on Wholly Surrendered}
This post has been shared with Raising Homemakers and A Wise Woman Builds Her Home
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